Rivers of living water (John 7: 37 - 39)

John 7:37-39 (NIV)

³⁷ On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. ³⁸ Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” ³⁹ By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified.

The tapestry of creation....

The tapestry of creation explodes into my senses, as I see its vibrancy - woven and crafted together.

It unfolds in my vision - alive and almost ethereal, as my mind comprehends inexplicable artistry.

My spirit stirs as I feel connected to my Creator God - I glimpse a taste of heaven as I am lost in wonderment.

My mind reaching beyond itself to grasp how this can be.

Can it be that my Lord, who created all this can be within me?

I am His creation also. I am a tapestry, woven and crafted. Every detail of me - unique and special.

How is it that in the vastness of the earth each person is unique and special? Every detail known, every difference incomparable?

How is it that each fingerprint, to its minutest detail, displays patterns of beauty, of love, of singular perfection, that God knows intimately?

He knows me, He created me - every part of me. How can this be?

It is unfathomable. It is incomprehensible, limitless and boundless.

I see the magnitude of the mountains, the expanse of the seas. The immensity of the universe, then the minuteness of a baby, of a bird, of an insect.

The detail of all life is thrust into my senses at every turn. At every breath, at every heartbeat.

Christ then further opens that door to life in fullness and connects me to Creator God. I see Him at each turn. He restores my spirit, my soul, my body, and I am made perfect in Christ as I glimpse life in all it's symmetry, in all its beauty, in all its majesty.

God of all creation loves me, and I bow down and give Him all praise and glory. How awesome is the Lord my God.

The cross at every heatbeat....

I close my eyes. I see the cross. I'm lost in a moment - time has stopped around me.

All I can feel is my heartbeat. I see the cross at every beat of my heart.

I am in awe. My mind is reaching out, grasping for understanding.

I cannot comprehend.

Christ died on that cross; took every sin on Him, in time - on earth.

The pain, the agony, the shame, the torture. Every cruelty, every neglect. He took it all; saw the depths of hell for us.

He died. He took death on Himself for me. He took that death away from me.

As Christ broke the chains of death - He rose from that death into unending life. A message of hope for us. I just need to believe, to repent, to ask Him to take away my sins, and to live and reign in me. This is a gift - connected back to my Father God.

Life in fullness is possible, as I believe what He said and what He has done is true.

The pain, the agony, the shame, the torture. Every cruelty, every neglect. Every sin can be forgiven.

He took it - all I've ever done or ever will do - He took it.

I am in awe. I am convicted. I confess it. I repent. I ask for forgiveness. He forgives me. I am forgiven. I believe. I accept this gift - freely given by grace.

I am in awe.

I am undeserving, but I can be free, alive, restored. The chains of death broken - as Christ lives in me.

The cross is at every beat of my heart. A timeless moment. Eternal life. Hope for mankind. Hope for me - to live in truth.

A nameless bird....

What is that bird that flits in and out of my sight, unobtrusively silent?

At first I don't really notice it. I'm distracted by brighter, more visible birds.

But it comes again. My mind tells me it's a particular type of bird, until I notice a marking that throws me.

I start searching for what it is, with my rudimentary knowledge.

This is new to me, seeing the subtle beauty of each bird. But now I am seeing the subtle strokes of creation in each creature.

I find what I think it may be. That's good. I know now. I give it a name.

My mind taps quietly into my spirit - it doesn't quite fit though. But I'll make that name fit, I'll put that name on it for me to make sense of it.

Another view of the bird then shows another possibility. I'm thrown into confusion.

But I can make this new name fit it - that is it's identity - I have decided. I can make sense of that.

My mind somewhere is feeling unconvinced by this, but I push away any other possibilities.

Then it comes again into my vision, quietly, almost invisible, moving - majestic with purpose.

Suddenly my eyes click into true vision as I see her. Her context is revealed. I see her, who she really is. She comes into sharp focus.

In my mind I say to her...

I see you. I see who you really are now. Your purpose, your worth, your identity.

I tried to make you fit how I saw you - to make it easier for me to make sense of you. But I see you, now in truth and reality.

I see you.... I am you.

I have been made to fit another name. I have only been half seen, only half noticed. I have been quietly, unobtrusively moving about, in and out of sight - seen in different ways.

But now my true identity is revealed. My context is revealed. I am seen as I am, my purpose coming into clear focus.

I am a child of God. I am loved. I have meaning. I have worth. I am accepted and belong to my Father God. Christ gives me that identity, that truth. His subtle strokes of creation in me.

I am the apple of His eye. I am seen, loved and adored.

My identity in Him is majestic with purpose. I give praise to the Lord, with all I am, in my body, soul and spirit.

I rest in Him alone. I belong to Him.

That nameless bird does have a name, I have a name, we are all seen. The Lord knows every detail in all creation - it's unfathomable - God's love abounds.

Invisible and lost.....

The mirror captures me. I see myself, my existence within it's frame. I am there, yet as I wander through the trail of life, navigating through the complexity of humanity, I am invisible.

I have trodden the paths of the past, as if unnoticed, moving quietly through the events of life - of people, places and circumstances. My Lord walks with me and He strengthens me. He sees me. But to the world, I am unseen.

My voice is silenced as I disconnect from all that is around me.

I walk through life as if in a different phase in time - an alternate reality - out of phase from life, from those around me. I see them, but I am not seen.

Occasionally I click back into sight - hope rises up in me as I connect, as I am seen - in a brief moment of clarity. Then as if being swept away by hidden currents, I am pulled out of sight again.

I find myself shouting and crying out in vain, to be heard, to be seen - I am lost again.

Understanding evades me as frustration, anger and hopelessness mingle, as I withdraw again within myself, away from life. Silenced, voiceless, invisible again.

The cry of my heart, Lord, is that Your love be known to people. That they have true life in You.  

But how can I tell of this and show Your love if I am out of phase - unseen, invisible, unnoticed and lost? How can I be used for you as I am? Is healing needed - of unseen wounds, of deep rejection and failure that creep with me through life?

Can I then break free - out of the enemy's prison that seeks to hold me?

But it drags me back at every opportunity, as I see the light fading and the darkness pushes me again out of sight, in this unseen battle.

I feel alone in this cycle - here on earth - an earth full of darkness with unseen forces imprisoning me - keeping me from freedom - keeping me hidden. I know my heavenly Father walks with me, but on earth my disconnection separates me from life, it separates me from a fulfilled purpose - a life of worth, of hope.

This journey is not of this earth. I battle forces I cannot see, desperate to be in the Kingdom of antithesis to this world and of darkness - a Kingdom of the eternal - of God.

I want to see this Kingdom as I shift in and out of sight on earth in this hidden battle. I want to live in that Kingdom of God, knowing my real purpose, an eternal truth, to be more like Christ. It all seems futile unless Christ is in focus.

It is Christ that lives in me. It is Christ that brings me into vision, as I live for Him. As I walk in Him - we can display that kingdom. He can use my fragile body, my fragile soul, my fragile spirit and the darkness won't hide me. He can restore me to wholeness as my goal is to honour Him alone.

My goal is for the kingdom - for life. I pray that the kingdom be seen as I connect to life for Him, here on earth. The unseen battle rages though as I push forward.

God is the Victor. I have the victory in Christ. He will bring me into focus in this battle. I will not be silenced by the darkness of the enemy. I will continue to walk in the light - seen and alive. I pray others can see the beauty of Christ too - in truth and victory as we live in that true kingdom. A kingdom of healing, of hope, of freedom, of light in the darkness.

The kingdom of God.

A photograph in time....

I stare into that photograph. My heart stirs in reminiscences as I remember that time, that place.

Vivid memories invade my mind. I suddenly remember the smells. I catch an aroma in my nose. I can feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. The sounds of life filter into my ears, of life that was then. That moment captured, in time.

I see myself. I remember.

I want to be in that moment now.
I want to live in that moment, that time.
I want time to stand still, to be in an loop of then, not now.
I want to go back where life felt full of promise. I had hope, I felt love. I hadn't yet travelled to where I am now.

I want to exist there, where life was sunny and joy-filled. I want to keep seeing through those rose-tinted lens.

I don't want to see reality; the world as it is.

I want to be in that moment of possibility, where I felt alive, real. I felt truly - me.

The rose-tint is fading though as life comes into focus.

Sorrow filters into the lens, then tears escape from my eyes, from my spirit as I see reality.

I cry these tears which you hold, Lord

You see the sorrow in my spirit.
You see into the depths of me.
You see my longing, my loss, my pain, my hurt.

The illusion of that loop in time - it is in my mind alone - that denial of reality.

But You see, You know, You comfort, You give hope, my Lord.

There is a time for life - now.

You can restore the years.
You can heal and set this heart free.
You have plans and a hope for the future, now, in this time. In this moment, in reality.

My tears will be wiped away as your life and hope well up in me.

Life - now.

The Lord is my rock and I take refuge in Him, to dwell in Him is reality - that true place of safety, where I can be alive, real, and really me, in truth.

As I search for that safe place, it is only in you Lord.

As my tears fade, You are the place I long for. You are the place of true promise, hope, possibility and love.

No moment in time, no place on earth can fulfil that real longing in me.

You are what I long for Lord.

You are that place of truth, security and love.

You are my refuge, my dwelling place.

I will keep my gaze on You, Lord.

Hope in the darkness...

I feel the darkness creep into me again. My spirit cries within me as I recall the passage of time.

A moment that feels so fleeting, in reality years have passed by.

That worry wells up - uninvited, yet clinging to me. A dark stain amidst the light, seeping into me.

The fear intermingles with that stain, trying to engulf me - with memories of pain and loss, goading me that it's coming again - like floodwater seeping past the defences ready to overtake and overwhelm me.

But the Lord is my defence. His peace erases the stain. He protects me from harm. His love upholds me, He covers me and holds me.

He is the only one to rest in. He restores me and plants hope in me, pushing back that stain, releasing and freeing me.

He strengthens me and wipes away all tears. His promises are steadfast. His plans of hope resound in me as I keep my eyes on Him.

My Saviour, my friend, My Lord.

He walks with me on that path - He holds my hand, He comforts me and restores me.

I praise the Lord. I give Him all that I am. I cry out to Him in my pain and He holds me - I am His.